You may have noticed that my semi-regular Dear Guest Blogger series has been more semi than regular of late.
Or you may not have noticed. Or you may have thought, “Thank goodness she gave up on that silly idea.” Whatever the case,it’s back, with the highly coveted advice of Peg from Peg-o-Leg.
Most of you know Peg, but for anyone who may have found his or her way here looking for pictures of “birthday cupcakes” or ideas for “stocking stuffers for hippie husband,” you owe it to yourself to head on over to her place and check it out.
Not only does she give great advice, she’s a heck of a saleswoman. Even if you don’t need a whatchamadoohickey, Peg will convince you that you do and she’ll make you laugh to boot.
As a mother and an experienced advice-giver, Peg seemed like the person to ask about this delicate issue.
Thanks for your advice, Peg!
I suspect that my daughter has been writing to a popular advice columnist (we’ll call her “Jane”) instead of turning to me for advice.
At first it just seemed like an odd coincidence. Letters to “Dear Jane” included scenarios that one would think unique to our, let’s say, ‘quirky’ family dynamics.
I was troubled but relieved, mostly because Jane’s advice was highly supportive of the writer’s mother in each scenario. I tried to put it out of my mind.
Then a few months ago, I helped my daughter move. As we
sorted clothes, she held up an old sweatshirt and said, “Jane says it’s ok to keep this but she is concerned about how many words it took me to ask her, so she reserves the right to change her mind.”
Peg, I think it’s the same Jane.
I’m not sure what to make of this. I’m usually the one people turn to for advice, and my own daughter is going to a stranger, in a public forum.
I’m turning to you because you are a mother with experience in offering good advice, also in a public forum.
Do you think I should be concerned?
I wouldn’t worry too much about this. It’s only natural for our adult children to turn away from us as authority figures. The fact is, although you may be a veritable wise crone of the village, one rarely appears as an expert to those who know us well.
It’s hard to see someone as the “Oracle of All Wisdom & Truth” when you have grown up watching them, at certain times of the month, unwashed and unkempt, curled up on the couch with a Whitman Sampler and a box of Kleenex, watching Full House reruns and crying “I never should have had children!”
Take my own situation. My brother is a dentist; board certified and everything. But do you think I’d let him anywhere NEAR my teeth with a drill? HELL no! He may be 45, but to me he’s just my snotty-nosed little brother – always was and always will be.
No, it’s a universal truth. As the old saying goes, “You’re never a prophet in your own home town.”
And that’s just what I told your daughter the last couple of times she wrote to me, asking about that same sweatshirt, her inability to make fashion decisions, and your inability to accept her as an adult capable of making her own choices.
Yours Very Truly,